Family Means Everything
by SVOC Luva
Summary: Completely AU. Set prepilot. Dean’s got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has...
1. Marissa

Title: Family Is Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John. **I CHANGED THE TWINS AGE, THEY'RE 2.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of its characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

Chapter 1: Marissa

Dean sighed heavily as he sat down in the rocking chair with his whimpering daughter. He tenderly kissed Asha's blonde hair as he began rocking back and forth. He hoped the rocking would soothe his baby girl to sleep. He hated seeing her in pain, she had a double ear infection and she was feeling it hard. God, he wished Marissa was here, he needed her, and Alec and Asha needed her. He really missed her, he often found himself thinking about the day he met her. He remembered it like it was yesterday. Funnily enough he'd met her in a bar in Flagstaff, Arizona and yeah he knew this was a total cliché but, he'd loved her at first sight. She'd been kicking some biker's ass, her shoulder length wavy blonde hair twirling around her. When she'd finished he'd walked up to her and said, "Damn girl I'd hate to piss you off, you've got great moves."

Sapphire blue eyes had looked up at him through long lashes, they had been shining with mirth. Then she'd smirked at him, asking cheekily, "You lookin' to get your ass kicked pretty boy?"

He'd smirked right back, his hazel-green eyes sparkling with golden flecks, "Nope, just complimenting you on your flawless Jujitsu. I've been studying martial arts since I was five, I can appreciate all the time and hard work you must have put into training to get that good. 'Cause you really kicked ass girl."

She'd smiled then, extremely bright, and he was mesmerized. Her hair was wild, extremely wavy, and he'd bet she had a hard time taming it. Her blue eyes had shone bright with liveliness, and she had a smattering of freckles across her cheeks and nose, much like himself. To top it all off she was wearing a Metallica t-shirt. Damn he'd fallen for her, and he'd fallen hard. Still smiling she'd introduced herself, "Hi, I'm Marissa Petrelli."

He'd smiled back genuinely, "I'm Dean Winchester."

"Like the rifle?", she'd asked, grinning.

"Yeah, like the rifle, but twice as deadly.", he'd quipped, smirking.

"Right, that's where all those years of martial arts come into play.", she'd said, derisively.

"Exactly.", he'd said, matter of factly. He'd enjoyed talking to her, she was his type, intelligent, witty, and fun. She was the kind of girl that would be able to keep up with his verbal sparring. So yeah, he'd been screwed and he'd been screwed because despite the fact that he'd known he'd probably get hurt, he'd had every intention of getting to know the girl.

He'd bought her a drink and their relationship had developed from there. The hunt he and his dad had been on at the time had been a complicated one, meaning it had taken a long time. So he'd been able to really get to know Marissa, they'd been dating for about two months when she'd stumbled upon what he and his father do. She'd walked into John and Dean's apartment and seen all the guns on the kitchen table. She'd entered the living room cautiously, letting out a shocked gasp as she watched John sewing up a gash on Dean's back. After that he'd told her about his life, he'd told her everything, and then he'd waited with bated breath for her response, and she'd just leaned forward, and embraced him gently. She'd pulled him as close as she could without hurting him, cupping the nape of his neck tenderly, her fingers playing with soft spiky hairs there. She'd told him that she was sorry about his mother, sorry that he'd grown up so fast, sorry for all the things he'd been through. Then she'd told him that she'd never leave him, not unless he wanted her to. So he'd put his heart on the line, told her that he loved her, and she'd said it back.

When it came time for John and Dean to leave Flagstaff, Marissa came with them. She didn't have anything to stick around for, her sister had gone away to college, her mother and baby brother had both died, and she'd never really met her father. They'd been on the road together for about six months when they'd found out she was pregnant, after the initial shock had worn off they'd been ecstatic. When she'd had the first sonogram they'd found out that she was pregnant with twins. The doctor had asked whether they wanted to know the sex of the babies and they did, they needed to be prepared for when they were born. So, a boy and a girl it was and they were both thrilled. Dean loved kids and he couldn't wait to be a father, he'd missed having someone to look after since Sammy had left for Stanford.

Marissa's pregnancy had been a rough one, the doctor had prescribed bed rest in her sixth month because of the complications. The babies were born three weeks after, they were obviously premature. The doctors all said it wasn't likely they'd survive the night, but they did. Then the doctors said they wouldn't make it past a week, Dean hadn't believed them, and Dean had been right, Asha and Alec were fighters. After that the doctors had told them their babies weren't going to make it past a month, and once again they were wrong. After three months they'd been able to bring Alec and Asha home, the next day when he'd woken up Marissa was gone. That same night she'd called, said she couldn't handle all this, said that she wasn't coming back, at least not for awhile, she needed to get help, deal with things she should have a long time ago. Dean just didn't understand, how could she leave him, how could she leave their children, their _sick_ children. And goddamn it he couldn't hate her, he just couldn't, he loved her. It would be so much easier if he could just hate her, but how could he when she gave him the two most important things in his life, Alec and Asha. He loved them so damn much, they were his world.

A lot of things had changed since Marissa left, the twins were 2 years old now, and they had exceeded all of the doctor's expectations. They weren't brain damaged and they didn't have any kind of a disability. Well except they had extremely severe asthma, which they'd both been hospitalized for about four times. Other than that they were pretty healthy and developmentally they were above average. So screw you Dr. Fishman, what the hell do you know anyway. If Marissa was here she'd kick his ass.

Marissa, god, he missed her.

AN: This was a totally random plot bunny that just wouldn't get out of mind, so I had to write it. Despite the fact that I don't know if anyone will be interested I figured I'd post it anyway. So, if you want more tell me and if you don't I won't continue. Please review, and constructive criticism is always welcome.

Thanks,

Alaina


	2. Dinner and John

Title: Family Means Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of it's characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

Chapter 2: Dinner and John

Dean rolled his eyes at his father's ranting as he placed each twin in their respective high chairs. Then he walked over to the microwave and pulled out the Gerber Graduate lil' meals, the kids loved the pasta with meat sauce. He let them cool off a little before walking over and placing them in front of Alec and Asha. Alec smiled as he picked up some pasta and held it out to Dean. "Daddy eat!", Alec screeched, happily.

Dean smiled back, wide and bright, "You eat it kiddo."

"Ehhh", Alec screeched, frustrated. Daddy eat pwease!", he said, his lower lip jutting out in a pout, wide green eyes pleading with his daddy.

Dean couldn't help it, he melted. The puppy dog eyes always got to him, had since Sammy was a little guy. Sammy had learned pretty quickly that puppy dog eyes and pouting worked to his advantage. Well, he could at least always get Dean to cave, unless whatever it was that he wanted wasn't safe. Dean had the feeling it wouldn't take Alec and Asha long to figure it out, either. He smiled brightly and spoke enthusiastically, "How 'bout Daddy eats…Big Al!"

Dean leaned forward, nuzzling the side of Alec's head, pretending to eat him up. Listening to Alec and Asha's hysterical laughter had Dean smiling contentedly, god he loved his kids. Speaking deeply, loudly, "Or maybe Daddy should eat… Asha up!" Another fit of giggles erupted from his children as he proceeded to pretend to eat his daughter up.

"Daddy's silly!", Asha squeaked, giggling happily. Alec just smiled and thrust the pasta up at Dean.

"Oh, how silly of me, I'm supposed to eat the pasta.", Dean said, making an exaggerated display of figuring it out. He opened his mouth wide and Alec dropped some pasta in. "Mmmm's good!", Dean said, loudly, "You eat now, 'kay."

They both nodded and turned their attention to their food.

Suddenly John yelled, causing Alec and Asha to stop eating, and Dean to jump a few feet in the air in shock. "Dean are you even listening to me?!"

Dean bowed his head before looking up at his father through lowered lashes. "No sir, sorry sir.", he answered, softly.

"Dean this is important.", John huffed, impatiently.

"Oh yeah, 'cause me takin' care of my kids is so unimportant right?", Dean spoke, sardonically.

"Dean you better change your tone of voice, because I'm so not in the mood.", John spoke, sharply.

Dean spoke, softly, "Sorry sir."

"Good. Now, like I said before this is really important, it's a favor to Jim. Three people have died already and one of them was a hunter, a friend of Jim's. The guy had been hunting for a long time, so it's not like he made any rookie mistakes. Which means this is gonna be a tough hunt, and I need your help. So you're going, and that's an order." John spoke, firmly, his voice raised.

"Sir, can you please lower your voice, you're scaring the munchkins okay?", Dean asked, softly.

John nodded and walked into the living room. Dean turned back to his kids and said, "Keep eating kiddos, I'll be right back."

The he turned, following John into the living room before saying, "Look sir, you know I love Pastor Jim. If I could help you on this hunt I would, but I already have a hunt lined up in Berkley. I really owe this guy okay, he did me a huge favor, got me this great job. I really need the money, I have to provide for Al and Asha."

"Where's the job Dean?", John questioned, running a frustrated hand through his already ruffled hair.

"Dad please don't be mad…", Dean pleaded, softly.

"Dean, where is the damn job?", John asked, his voice carrying a steely edge to it, olive green eyes flashing with anger.

"It's in Palo Alto, but it doesn't have anything to do with Sammy. Marissa's sister Rachel, you met her, well her neighbors moved and I'm going to rent the place. Rachel's offering to help me out with the kids and I need the help. Plus she wants to get to know her niece and nephew, and Asha and Alec deserve to get to know her. So, my friend got me a job as a mechanic at this Auto Dealership in the area. He had to fight really hard to get it for me and all he asked from me in return was to take care of a _problem _he's having.", Dean answered, his hazel-green eyes assessing John warily. His father was acting like more of an ass than usual, which meant he was drunk.

"Damn it Dean! You know, we wouldn't be in this situation if you used protection when you were screwin' around with Marissa! The next time you talk to Rachel you tell her to tell that bitch to get her act together and help raise her goddamn kids!", John screamed, his eyes ablaze, and his chest heaving.

"I wasn't _screwin' around _with Marissa, I love her, and don't you _dare _insinuate that _my kids_ are mistakes! I love my kids' dad! _**THEY'RE NOT A GODDAMN MISTAKE, THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME!**_", Dean roared, his voice full of pure venom.

Dean sucked in a harsh breath, and exhaled slowly, heavily. He ran a shaky hand over his face as he tried to control his breathing. He roughly wiped his sweaty palm on his jeans and looked up at his father, eyes blazing. "Dad I'm sorry I yelled like that, but don't _**ever**_ talk about my babies that way again.", Dean spoke, sharply.

A moment later he spoke softly, running a tired hand through his hair, "Um you… you should eat something dad. Come in the kitchen, I'll make you something."

"Jesus Christ Dean, I'm sorry! I didn't mean any of that. Shit! I just… I'm stressed about this hunt and I'm taking it on you, that's not fair. God, if somebody talked about you and Sammy like that in front of me I'd punch them!", John exclaimed, pacing around the room and running a hand through his already ruffled hair.

"Dad it's okay, I know you didn't mean it. Now come on, I'll make you something to eat.", Dean spoke, firmly.

"Dean it's not okay, I mean they're my grandchildren and I barely know them. I… I should just go.", John said as he headed for the front door.

Dean ran in front of his father, putting his hands in front of him, the universal sign for stop. "Whoa, dad slow down. Look you've been drinking, you shouldn't be driving."

"Dean I'm fine, just let me go.", John said, sharply.

"Dad _please _stay, I… I'm worried about you. Just _please_ I'll make you something to eat and then you can relax for awhile. I'll call Bobby and see if he can hunt with you, okay?", Dean pleaded some-what desperately, hazel-green eyes shining with concern.

John's face softened considerably at his son's thinly veiled distress. Sighing heavily, he moved closer to his son, hand reaching up to cup Dean's neck. He rubbed his thumb up and down on Dean's neck soothingly, shooting his son a half smile saying, "I can do that kiddo."

God, Dean was the only one he could calm him down, steady him. He was so much like Mary that it sometimes hurt John to be around him. He had Mary's hair even if it was darker now than it had been when he was a little boy, he had her sparkling hazel-green eyes, her nose, her freckles, which were especially noticeable in the summer, he had her lips and her smile. He also had a lot of her personality, they had the same laugh, the same sense of humor, and that smirk. They both loved music, the same kind, too. Dean had Mary's ability to feel things deeply, he loved wholeheartedly, he felt such compassion for people. He'd do anything for his family, he always put them first, just like Mary had. He had her passion and zealous for life, no matter how many times it knocked him down Dean would get back up and make the best of it. He'd never complained about the life he'd been dealt, he just took everything in stride. _'Oh Mary, if you were here I know you'd be so proud of him. Everything he's done for this family, everything he's sacrificed. You have every right to be mad at me because both our baby boys deserve so much better. But I still know you'd be proud of him, he was always such a good boy and now he's an amazing man. Oh Mary, I hope you can forgive me.'_, John thought to himself.

Just then a loud splat sounded from the kitchen and John watched as his son's body grew tense. He resumed the soothing motion on his son's neck and said, "Relax Ace, I'll clean up whatever the mess is, you get your kids cleaned up, okay? Then you can make dinner for you and I, and I can put Alec and Asha to bed."

Dean nodded shooting his father an appreciative glance and they both headed for the kitchen. When they got into the kitchen they saw the Gerber Graduate container along with a bunch of meat sauce on the floor. Dean turned to look at his children, Asha was sitting quietly in her high chair, spreading the sauce around on her tray. Alec was waving his spoon around and humming something softly. They were both covered in meat sauce. So, Dean took off both his shirts so he didn't get any sauce on himself. He took the spoon out of Alec's chubby little hand and then picked up both of his messy children. "It's bath time kiddos.", Dean told them, smiling.

He turned to John saying, "Thanks dad.", before heading out of the worn down kitchen.

TBC…

AN: I hope you enjoy this, I'm kind of out of it right now because I'm in a lot of pain, so I don't know how good it's going to be. Please review, it's very much appreciated. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Thanks,

Alaina


	3. Mary's Songs

Title: Family Means Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of it's characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

Chapter 3: Mary's Songs

Dean walked out of the worn down kitchen, down the hallway, and into the bathroom. He placed both children on the blue tiled floor, before turning on the bath water. "Bath!", they both shouted happily.

Dean grinned and said, "Asha, honey come here." She smiled brightly before launching herself at her daddy, curly blonde hair bouncing up and down. Dean sighed contentedly, bending down and wrapping his arms around her. After a minute he pulled back a little, his chest covered in sauce, and said, "Arms up baby girl."

Asha smiled, raising her arms up so her daddy could pull her pink 'Daddy's Little Princess' t-shirt over her head. Then he took off her cute denim capris with pink cuffs and her pull up. "Honey sit down on the bath mat while I get your brother out of his clothes.", Dean told her softly. She did as she was told. "Alec buddy come here, daddy needs to get you out of those icky clothes.", Dean said, twisting his face up in embellished disgust.

Both children giggled and Alec ran straight into Dean's chest. He wrapped his arms around his daddy, as much he could considering the fact that he was small for a two year old, and buried his face into Dean's stomach, smearing sauce on him. Dean smiled lovingly, leaning down a little and kissing his son's unruly blonde hair. The little guy needed a hair cut soon, his hair was getting long, and turning into a mess of wavy curls. "I wuv you daddy.", Alec said into Dean's chest. Dean's heart swelled, he would _never _get tired of hearing those words from his kids. He didn't think he'd been loved so unconditionally since Sammy had been ten. God, he loved his kids so damn much. Dean smiled glowingly, speaking tenderly, "I love you, too baby."

After holding his son for a minute he said, "Alright kiddo arms up."

Alec let go of his daddy and threw his arms up gleefully. Dean leaned forward and pulled Alec's City Threads Orange Atom Jet Double Camo Tee over his head. Then he pulled off Alec's jeans and his pull up. After he finished undressing Alec he turned the bathtub faucet off. He turned to look at his kids, who were both sitting on the bathmat, waiting patiently for him to be ready. Bath toys sitting untouched on the floor in front of them as they muttered something about Dora the Explorer. "You ready to get in the tub now guys?", Dean asked, smiling.

They both stood up, jumping up and down, shouting happily, "Yeah!"

Dean grinned as he watched his kids throw a few toys in the tub before trying to climb into it. He walked over, swiftly picking them up and placing them into the tub. They both sat down, quietly playing with their toy boats and rubber duckies. After a minute Alec splashed Asha with a smirk on his face. She scowled at him before splashing him back. Dean snickered under his breath, she was totally her mother's daughter, feisty, with a bad attitude. She was going to be a handful when she got older, no doubt about that. Alec was all him though, smirk and mischievous hazel-green eyes. He was going to be a smart-aleck and flirt before he even hit puberty. He heard the splashing grow louder and turned to tell the kids to stop, but couldn't stop himself from laughing out loud when he saw the looks on their faces. Alec's face was alight with pure mischievous glee and Asha's was twisted up in a scowl, her eyes mere slits. Then Asha's face lit up with a mischievous smirk of her own and she picked up a cup that was floating around in the tub. She filled it up with water and threw it into Alec's face.

Alec started coughing as he choked on the water. Dean leaned forward and pat him gently on the back, saying, "You alright buddy?"

After a few more coughs Alec nodded. Then he leaned forward to hit his sister, but Dean's hand shot out and gently grabbed his arm. "No Alec, we don't hit people, especially girls. Do you understand?", Dean asked speaking firmly but gently.

"Yeah, I sowy daddy.", Alec answered, looking at Dean with big puppy dog eyes.

"Good boy.", Dean praised, softly. Alec beamed at him before going back to playing with his rubber duckie. Dean turned to Asha, speaking firmly but gently, "Asha it's not okay to throw water in people's faces. Say sorry to your brother."

"Sowy Awec.", Asha apologized softly.

"'S 'kay.", Alec said before leaning forward and kissing Asha on the cheek.

Asha smiled and kissed him back before saying, "Wuv you Awec."

"Wuv you too, Asha.", Alec said, softly.

Dean smiled at their show of affection, it was sweet, he was glad they were so close, like he and Sammy used to be. "Thank you for apologizing Asha. I like to see you two being nice to each other. Alright Asha it's time to wash your hair, now."

Asha turned to him, smiling, "'Kay daddy."

Dean smiled back before standing up and grabbing the baby shampoo off of the half broken shampoo rack. He opened the bottle, squirting a dab into his palm, lathering it up before gently scrubbing it into his daughter's hair. After scrubbing for a little while he tipped Asha's head back and used the cup to rinse her hair out. Asha went back to playing with her toy boat after he finished.

"Alright Al it's your turn.", Dean said. Alec moved closer so Dean would have better access to his hair. John came in as Dean was rinsing the shampoo out. When he finished he turned to look at his father. "Hey dad, we're almost done.", he said, softly.

John nodded looking past Dean and at Alec and Asha. They were both openly glaring at him. "Uh oh, it looks like I have some explaining to do.", he spoke, looking slightly amused.

Dean turned to look at his kids, he was surprised at the glares they were directing at his father. "Dad I'm sorry.", Dean said, softly.

"Don't be sorry Dean, I deserve it. I was yelling at their daddy and I was yelling at him about something that wasn't his fault. They're just trying to protect you, it's not anything you haven't done for me kiddo.", John said, sincerely while running a hand through his unruly hair.

He bent down in front of the tub, looked his grandkids in the eye and said, "I owe you guys an apology. I'm sorry for yelling at your daddy and I'm sorry if I scared you by yelling, it wasn't very nice of me. I'm also sorry that I haven't spent a lot of time with you both, you deserve a better grandpa."

They both looked at Dean and he nodded, his way of assuring them that it was okay to accept John's apology. They both turned to John and Asha spoke innocently, "'S 'kay but, you tell daddy you sowy."

John nodded solemnly before turning to Dean and saying, "I'm sorry for yelling at you and saying the things that I said."

"Good boy.", Alec said as he patted John's hand.

John smiled in amusement, the kid was damn cute. He looked exactly like Dean had when he was little. John missed that time with his son, when things were good and they were happy. Sometimes he would fall asleep in his arm chair with Dean resting on his chest, neither of them waking when Mary covered them with a blanket. He missed his and Mary's nightly routine of putting Dean to bed, they'd always pray first, Mary insisted on it. Then they'd read him short stories and then they'd sing to him. Mary loved music and her favorite love song had been 'Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You' written by Barry Manilow and preformed by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, she'd loved singing it to Dean and he'd loved hearing it. If they weren't singing him that song they'd sing him 'Hush Little Baby', Dean loved that song as well. He remembered a few occasions a few years after Mary's death, hearing Dean singing it to Sammy.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by his granddaughters voice saying, "Gampa give daddy hugs and kiss."

John nodded, leaning over and pulling Dean into a hug. He kissed his son's dark blonde hair and pulled him closer. Dean's body was tense, and John couldn't help but wonder when was the last time he'd held his son, really held him not just given him a brief hug. Yes, he knew his son was 26 years-old, a grown man, hell Dean had been a man pretty much since the night Mary died, but Dean would always be his baby boy. John knew that he hadn't been very affectionate with either of his boys and he knew that when he was affectionate that the affection had been mostly directed towards Sammy. Dean was very good at hiding it but he craved affection, much more than Sammy did. John decided that tonight he'd give his baby boy more than just a brief hug.

He was again brought out of his musings, but this time by his grandson, "Gampa you tell daddy you wuv him."

He heard Dean suck in a sharp breath. "I love you, Dean.", John spoke softly, sincerely.

Dean let out a ragged gasp that sounded suspiciously like a sob but he quickly clamped down on his emotions. "I love you, too dad.", he spoke softly, his voice raspy.

John patted him gently on the back before pulling away. "Alright kiddos it's time finish your bath up."

John washed Alec quickly and Dean washed Asha. When they were done they wrapped both kids up in towels. "Dean give me Asha I'll put them both to bed you go make us some grilled cheese okay?", John spoke softly.

Dean nodded, handing Asha to John and said, "Good night Alec, good night Asha. I love you both very much."

"Wuv you too, daddy, night night.", they both said, softly.

Dean smiled before walking down the hall to the kitchen. John turned and walked down to the other end of the hall, the old floor boards creaking under his feet.

John smiled as he entered the kitchen, seeing Dean about to bite into his grilled cheese sandwich at the kitchen table. John walked over to the table, sitting down in the seat in front of his own plate.

Dean turned to him, speaking softly, "You get them down alright?"

John nodded, smiling slowly, speaking softly. "Yeah, I sang them your mother's songs."

Dean's hazel-green eyes swiveled around and met John's olive-green ones with a startling intensity.

"They seemed to recognize them.", John observed, peering at Dean curiously before taking a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.

Dean eyed him warily, John swallowed the bite and smiled brightly, "'S good kiddo."

Dean relaxed, smirking and speaking cheekily, "Of course it is, I made it."

John smiled affectionately, waiting patiently for Dean to respond to his earlier comment. He'd learned quite awhile ago that the way to get his son to open up about things was to wait him out, which admittedly wasn't something John was good at doing. Sometimes though, waiting for Dean to be ready didn't work, because well, there were some things Dean would just never be ready to talk about. Those were the times when Dean pretended that everything was fine, even though it obviously wasn't. Sometimes John would leave it at that because he didn't want to deal with it and other times he wouldn't. When he didn't leave it alone he'd have to corner him and Dean's initial reaction was to _get out, get away_. When that didn't work Dean would try to get him angry so he'd storm off. John was sorry to say, but that technique more often than not worked. When it didn't he wouldn't let up until Dean finally opened up to him. But, John had a good feeling that this wasn't going to be one of those times.

Dean finished his sandwich before averting his eyes, ripping little tears in his paper plate. "I sing both of mom's songs to them every night.", he spoke softly.

John smiled, speaking somewhat wistfully, "I can't believe you even remember them, you were so young. God, she loved singing to you."

Dean looked at him, eyes shining crystalline green. He spoke softly, hesitantly, "I made sure I remembered." _Just like he'd made sure he remembered her birthday, her and his dad's anniversary, her favorite color, and the way she smelled. _"I made sure I remembered as much as I could. When I was about eight I wrote stuff down so I wouldn't forget. I didn't want to forget her, I _never_ want to forget her."

"Ahhh kiddo.", John spoke softly, reaching out and cupping Dean's cheek. Not for the last time John wished to have Mary back, the boys should have gotten to spend more time with her. After a moment he cracked a smile, questioning softly, "Did you really write stuff down, kiddo?"

Jade eyes filled to the brim with tears looked into his, Dean leaned into his hand, taking the offered comfort, smiling slightly, "Yeah."

"God, she loved that song. You, remember how sometimes she'd listen to it when she cooked dinner?", John asked, contemplatively.

Dean nodded, speaking somewhat nostalgically, "Yeah, and when you came in the door she'd make you twirl her around the kitchen, ask you to sing with her. Sometimes she'd pick me up and dance with me, too."

John smiled brightly, "Do you remember what she used to tell you, what she'd make you promise?"

"She'd tell me this was the kind of song girls wanted boys to sing to them and she'd make me promise that when I fell in love with a girl that I'd sing it to her.", Dean answered smiling lightheartedly.

"Yeah, I used to tell her that the particular promise she was asking was way over your head, you were only three when she started asking you that. Do you remember how you answered her on your fourth birthday?", John asked, chuckling.

Dean blushed a little causing John to crack up laughing. "Yeah I promise her, but then I told her I didn't think it was gonna happen 'cause I wasn't going to love any other girl but her."

John smiled, speaking softly, "You have no idea how much that meant to her Dean. She'd gush about it to all her friends, she was always telling them she had the sweetest little boy ever, and they sure as hell agreed with her. Not many little boys are that good at knowing exactly what women want hear. She'd be damned proud of the boy you were and the man you've become, Dean."

"Dad I didn't actually know what women wanted to hear, I just said it 'cause I meant it at the time.", Dean said, shooting John a half smile.

"I know that, kiddo.", John answered, shooting Dean a smile of his own.

After a moment of comfortable silence Dean looked at John through lowered lashes, hazel-green eyes shining with unshed tears. He asked, softly, "Do you really think so dad, do you really thing mom would be proud of me?"

John looked his son in the eye, answering firmly, "I know so kiddo, I know so."

John got up, walked over to his son, and in a rare show of affection pulled him into hug. Pulling him in as close as he could, holding him gently. Whispering into his son's ear, "And for the record I'm proud of you, too."

TBC…

AN: Dean and the kids will be in Palo Alto in the next chapter, which means Sam and Jess are probably going to make an appearance. Sorry this took so long, I was having some problems with my computer. It's all set now though. I hope you enjoyed this. Please Review it's very much appreciated. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Thanks,

Alaina


	4. Oh Shit!

Title: Family Means Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of it's characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

AN: So here is chapter four, I hope you enjoy. Thanks for all the reviews, they're very much appreciated.

Chapter 4: Oh Shit!

It had been three weeks since Dean and his kids had moved to Palo Alto. They were all settling in pretty well, they all loved the house and spending time with Rachel and her boyfriend Jake. The twins were getting used to Dean working daily, as was Dean himself. He loved his job, working at the Auto Dealership was great. Dean loved cars, had loved cars since before his mother had died, since he was born according to his father. His mother had given birth to him in the backseat of the Impala and he'd loved riding in that car ever since. John had been a mechanic before the fire and because Dean had been such a well behaved little guy he'd let Dean sit and watch him tune up the Impala starting at the tender age of two.

Dean's love of cars had only grown as he'd gotten older, when he was seven, John, Sammy, and him had moved into Bobby Singer's house. Bobby was a fellow hunter, John had needed training when it came to demons and Bobby was a demon expert. The best there was really, nobody knew demons like Bobby did, does. Bobby's property was huge, he owned a salvage yard and mechanic shop. Now Bobby wasn't one for kids, but he'd quickly taken a liking to the young Winchester boys, especially Dean. They were both respectful and well behaved children, Bobby had appreciated that. When he'd learned how much Dean loved cars, especially the Impala, Bobby had taken Dean out into the salvage yard and began teaching him everything he knew about cars.

Those were some of Dean's most treasured memories, he'd loved when they would stay at Bobby's place for months at a time. He'd spend time with Bobby in the salvage yard, under the baking sun, wearing worn clothes covered in dirt, oil, and sweat. Laying under cars that needed fixing, the feeling of accomplishment when he'd finish and head off to shower smelling of sweat, oil, and gasoline. Part of Dean wished he could go work for Bobby, but the other part of him knew he needed to stay here in Palo Alto, he really needed Rachel's help with Alec and Asha.

Plus it wasn't like the job he had was bad, he really liked his boss, Charlie was a good guy. Charlie being a single father himself had been extremely understanding about Dean's situation. He'd given Dean flexible hours so he could work around Rachel's schedule, and it was really helpful. Charlie wasn't regretting his choice to help Dean out either, just the day before he'd told Dean that he was the best worker Charlie had ever had. Dean had responded with a polite and sincere, "Thank you, sir.", while thinking that it was just the way he was. When Dean Winchester did something he threw all of himself and everything he had into it. The way he saw it, it was all of it or none of it, there was absolutley no sense in doing things half-assed.

Now about Rachel, she'd been a great help. She watched the kids from 5:30 in the morning into the early afternoon. She'd have his lunch on the table as well as Alec and Asha down for a nap by the time he got home from work. Then she'd head off to afternoon and evening classes, but she always came by in between two of them to help him put the munchkins to bed. He appreciated everything Rachel did for them, and he made sure to tell her that. She had to be some kind of angel, he could see why Ryssa loved her so much. She was a great friend to him despite the fact that she certainly didn't have to be. She'd made it abundantly clear that she was there for him, and not just in the context of helping out with Alec and Asha. She'd told him that if he needed to talk about anything, whether it be Marissa, or Sam, or the kids, that he could come to her. Admittedly it was nice to know that she cared about him, and not just the kids.

When he'd taken her up on her offer, he'd thought being around her might make him sad, that she'd remind him of Marissa and then he'd miss her more. Most of the time Rachel didn't remind him of Ryssa at all, he had a hard time believing they were sisters, but then he supposed that's what people felt like when they found out he and Sam were brothers. Her hair was a rich brown and not as wavy as Ryssa's, her facial features were in no way similar, and her skin was a shade darker. She had the same sparkle in her eyes though, and a lot of the same quirks. She twirled a strand of her hair when she was nervous, she made the same face Marissa did when she thought something was weird or when she found something to be unbelievable. She always rolled her eyes when she was exasperated and she always smiled when she was happy. She also enjoyed the same music her big sister did, and they both shared a love of horses. But other than those things they didn't have much in common. Rachel wasn't as cynical and untrusting as Ryssa and even though she knew Jujitsu she didn't use it unless she really had to. She wasn't the type of person that enjoyed kicking ass just for the fun of it, Marissa was. She was just a sweetheart and she wasn't going to hurt anybody if she could deal with the problem in a more peaceful manner.

Dean was currently waiting for her on Stanford's campus. There had been a situation at work that had him running late so he'd told her to meet him here, so that she wouldn't be late for class. Just then he spotted her boyfriend Jake walking a little ways away. Jake was a great guy, he treated Rachel really well, and he was great with Alec and Asha. He'd also become a good friend to Dean, they'd gone out for beer a few times. While they were drinking they'd talked about sports and played pool, Dean had a really good time. It had made him feel for the first time in a long time like a normal guy. When he was with Jake he could chill out and just have a good time, it was a nice feeling.

Jake also happened to be a good friend of Sam's and he'd told Dean right off the bat, as to avoid future complications. Oh Shit! Sam was with him right now, and he'd already spotted Dean. _'Oh well there isn't much I can do about it now.'_, Dean thought to himself as he listened to his baby brother's bewildered voice calling out, "Dean?"

He watched the blonde girl, his brother's girlfriend Jessica, as her head whipped around to look at him and then look back at Sam. He could see her saying something to Sam with a smile on her face, he said something back before jogging in Dean's direction. Jessica jogged after him and Jake followed resignedly at a more sedate pace. Sam stopped in front of him, smiling slightly, "Dean what're you doing here?"

"Hey Sammy, um… I'm not here to bug you. I live here now.", Dean spoke softly, eyeing Sam warily.

"You live here and you haven't been to see me?", Sam asked softly, head cocking to the side, unruly bangs shielding his moss colored eyes.

"Uh… I didn't know if you'd want to see me. You haven't exactly returned my phone calls.", Dean answered somewhat bitterly, hazel-green eyes staring warily into Sam's mossy-green ones.

Sam reached up, pushing his bangs out of his face, eyes shining imploringly as he spoke, softly, "I'm sorry Dean, it wasn't about you. I just… I just didn't trust myself not to come back home if I heard your voice. I didn't want to get sucked back into that life, but that doesn't mean I haven't missed you like crazy. I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I did."

Dean could see that Sam was telling him the truth, but it didn't mean that Sam had hurt him any less. Not that he wasn't going to forgive Sam, he could forgive his brother for anything. He guesses he's taking too long to answer because he can see Sam's eyes filling up with tears and the puppy dog look on his face. _'God damn it Sammy, you know I hate it when you cry. I've never been able to handle your tears.'_, Dean thought to himself, sighing heavily. "Aww Sammy don't pull that shit, you know I hate it.", Dean spoke, his tone carrying something akin to exasperation.

Sam's mouth quirked up in a smile and he implored, softly, "But it always works, right?"

Dean sighed heavily, running a hand through his soft dark blonde hair, his mouth quirking up in a soft smile. He spoke warmly, "Yeah kiddo, it always works."

A brilliant smile graced Sam's face and before Dean could do anything about it he had an armful of Sammy. Dean let himself enjoy the closeness to his baby brother for about thirty seconds, who could blame him he hadn't seen the kid this close up in four years, before struggling and huffing in full on exasperation, "Sammy let go of me, I don't do chick flick moments!"

Sam pulled back, smiling, and Dean smiled back, saying, "It's good to see you Sammy."

Sam spoke happily, "It's good to see you, too."

After a pause, "Dean?"

"Yeah?", Dean asked, eyebrow raised in question.

"It's Sam, Sammy was a chubby twelve year old.", Sam spoke softly, with a short role of his eyes.

"No can do kiddo, you're always gonna be Sammy to me.", Dean said, reaching up and ruffling Sam's already unruly brown locks. "Sammy were you even listening to me when I sat you down and taught you what combs were used for?"

Sam rolled his eyes, answering, "Obviously not, because if I had been would you even be asking me? And it's Sam."

"Shut up you smart ass.", Dean griped, reaching over and roughly shoving Sam's shoulder.

After a beat, "Dude I was being serious, you'd think you'd of learned to use a comb by now. Especially with you being a college boy and all, but no your hair is as unruly as ever. When was the last time you got a hair cut Sammy?"

"Dean shut up, my girlfriend is right over there.", Sam hissed irritably, nodding his head in Jessica's general direction.

Dean's hazel-green eyes shot to the girl in question, her hand was covering her mouth and she was giggling hysterically, as was Jake. Dean smirked, he had a feeling he was going to like this girl. Turning to Sam he drawled, "Well, are you gonna introduce us, or what?"

Sam just gaped at him, Dean rolled his eyes, walking over to Jess who was giggling harder now. He offered her a hand and she reached out and shook it. "Hi I'm the…"

She cut him off, smiling brightly, "The big brother, yeah I gathered. I'm Jessica, but please call me Jess."

He smiled back, speaking charmingly, "I trust you've been taking good care of my baby brother, sweetheart."

"Dean don't hit on her.", Sam hissed walking over to the two of them.

Dean smirked, speaking innocently, "Sammy I'm just getting to know your girl Jess, here."

Jess joined in on the teasing, blue eyes sparkling, her voice just as innocent, "Yeah _Sammy_, we were just getting to know each other."

"Don't encourage him Jess.", Sam pleaded desperately, puppy dog eyes turned on full force.

Dean took matters into his own hands before she caved, because he knew _nobody_ could resist those puppy dog eyes. "Don't listen to him Jess, please do encourage me. I'm sure you want stories, well I've got them.", he spoke, waggling his eyebrows at her.

Jess smiled brightly, answering, "Do tell." She looked over at Sam who was beginning to look like a kicked puppy. "Sorry baby."

Now he definitely looked like a kicked puppy, and Dean, despite years of trying to be, was not impervious to _that_ face. _God, he was such a sucker!_ "Aww Sammy I won't be too hard on you.", Dean reassured, gently thumping him on the back.

"Oh, please be hard on him.", Jess and Jake spoke simultaneously.

Now that Jake had caught Dean's attention again, Dean turned to him, bright jade eyes fastening on the other man, as it suddenly dawned on him that Jake had set this up. "Jake you conniving little shit! Rachel told you I was meeting her here didn't she, and you set this up? You little shit!", he roared, his voice conveying aggravation, with a hint of reluctant admiration.

Jake took a step backwards and answered hastily, "Yes I did, but look at the bright side, it turned out great. Sam is really happy to see you, just like I told you he'd be."

"I'm gonna kill you, you promised you weren't gonna tell him!", Dean said voice raised, he was only half serious.

"I kept my promise. I didn't tell him, I just led him to you.", Jake spoke matter of factly as he ran a hand through his shaggy brown locks.

Dean eyes were ablaze as he spoke sharply, "I'm gonna kick your ass, you smart ass! _I didn't tell him, I just led him to you. _What kinda bull shit is that?"

"Hold up, you two know each other?", Sam interrupted, stepping in between them.

Jake nodded, grumbling, "Yeah, and you would've known it sooner if Dean wasn't so goddamn stubborn."

"I told you why…", Dean began, but was interrupted by two tiny voices happily screaming, "Daddy!"

Dean turned to see Alec and Asha running to him, Rachel running behind them. When they reached him they began pulling at his legs, yelling, "Up Daddy!"

He leaned down picking them both up and smiling as the both rested their heads on his chest.

Sam's questioning voice drew Dean's attention back to his brother, "Daddy?"

Oh Shit!

He had a lot of explaining to do.

AN: So that was chapter four, I hope you enjoyed it. Just to let you know, I know exactly where this story is going now, and it's going to be relatively long. I hope you're interested. Please review, it's very much appreciated.

Thanks,

Alaina


	5. What Hurts The Most

Title: Family Means Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of it's characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

AN: Here is chapter five, I hope you enjoy. Thank you for all the reviews, they're very much appreciated.

Chapter 5: What Hurts The Most

"Daddy?", Sam questioned, voice incredulous.

Dean smiled nervously but answered honestly, proudly, "Yeah I'm a daddy. These are my kids… um obviously."

"This little girl is Asha Marie Winchester, and the little man is Alec Caden Winchester.", Dean spoke warmly, smiling as he lovingly pressed tender kisses to both of his children's fine blonde hair.

"Oh my god, they're gorgeous!", Jess cooed, smiling brightly.

A brilliant smile lit up Dean's face, and he answered genuinely, "Thanks."

After a moment Dean's hazel-green eyes glanced towards Sam, who was currently standing in stunned silence. Jake rolled his blue-green eyes walking over to Sam and thumping him on the back, "C'mon man, snap out of it."

Sam blinked rapidly, shaking his head to snap himself out of his daze, speaking in disbelief, "I can't believe you ha…"

He was interrupted by a little voice saying, "Daddy?"

Dean turned his attention to his son, questioning softly, "Yeah baby?"

"Daddy is that Unca Sammy?", Alec asked in excitement, hazel-green eyes shining with delight as he looked at his uncle, head still resting on Dean's chest.

"Yeah daddy is that Unca Sammy?", Asha asked just as, if not more excited than her brother.

Dean smiled, bouncing his children slightly as he adjusted his grip on them, speaking fondly, "Yeah that's your Uncle Sammy, say hi."

"Unca Sammy, I Asha.", Asha said, smiling, leaning forward and reaching out for Sam.

Sam reached out, taking the little girl, his niece, from his big brother. He could still hardly believe it as he adjusted the little girl on his hip. Smiling, Sam spoke softly, "Hi Asha, it's nice to meet you. You're quite the little cutie."

"I know Unca Sammy.", Asha said, giggling.

"Oh you do, do you?", Sam asked, chuckling.

"Yeah.", Asha answered before leaning up and kissing Sam on the cheek. When she pulled back he kissed her forehead tenderly, and said, "Thank you cutie."

"How 'bout you buddy, you gonna say hi to your uncle Sammy?", Dean asked Alec.

Alec buried his face in Dean's chest, clutching to his daddy tightly. Dean tenderly stroked the boy's silky soft blonde hair, before tickling his side. It elicited a giggle. "Hey, since when has daddy's Big Al ever been shy?", Dean questioned, his inflection somewhere between amused and concerned.

Alec just clutched Dean tighter. "Hey what's the matter buddy? C'mon, tell daddy what's wrong.", Dean spoke, gently, rubbing a comforting hand up and down his son's little back.

Alec leaned up, whispering to his daddy, "Just miss you today."

"Aww I missed you, too. Are you sure that's the only thing that's wrong baby?", Dean questioned, uneasily. He was really starting to get worried now, this wasn't like his little guy. Alec was usually a pretty lively child. Okay, that was an understatement he was an extremely vibrant child, that's why seeing Alec sick was so hard for Dean. Seeing him sick was scary, especially since both he and Asha had been so sick after they were born. They'd both been on a ventilator for about three weeks of their stay in the neonatal ICU after their birth. He never wanted to see either of his children like that ever again, that's why he was always so careful. Making sure that they weren't exposed to too many germs, and that they didn't over exert themselves because of their asthma. He'd had a full blown panic attack the first time they had gotten sick after coming home from the hospital. Luckily his dad had been there to help him through it, he'd been a great help that first year. God, he hoped Alec wasn't sick, he could already feel the panic creeping up on him.

Rachel had seemed to somehow sense it because she was placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder and speaking softly, "He seemed a little off today, but he didn't feel warm, so I decided not to bother you at work. Maybe he's coming down with a little cold, I'm sure he'll be alright. If you want I'll skip class today and come help you out."

"No Rach you and Jake should go to class, I'm sure your right it's probably just a little cold.", Dean spoke, unconvincingly.

"Are you sure, because it's really okay?", Rachel asked gently, her caring hazel eyes studying him appraisingly.

"Rach you and Jake both get your assess to class, the kids and I'll be fine.", Dean spoke, firmly.

"Alright, I'll be by later to help put the kids to bed, and Dean don't think you're getting out of talking to me. I can see right through you.", Rachel spoke, firmly, but gently. She leaned forward giving Dean an affectionate peck on the cheek.

Rachel and Jake said their goodbyes to Alec and Asha who both answered with a soft, "Bye Auntie, bye Jakie."

After watching Rachel and Jake walk away for a moment Dean turned his attention back to Sam and Jessica. They were both looking at him in confusion, actually Sam's facial expression was closer to outright bewilderment. "Look Sammy I realize I have a lot of explaining to do, but now is not really good time. Alec seems be feeling a little under the weather, and I really need to keep this from turning into a full blown cold.", Dean spoke wearily, letting out a heavy sigh. _'Please don't let Sammy start in on me now, please.'_

Sam decided to take it easy on his brother, if his brother was telling the truth about living here, which he obviously was, Sam would have plenty of time to grill his brother later. Just as Sam was about to offer his help Alec began coughing harshly. Sam was startled as he watched his brother's body grow tense and face go ashen with worry. Dean sucked in a few sharp breaths before gaining control of himself. "Dean what's going on?", Sam asked, in concern.

"Yeah what's the matter?", Jess asked, the same amount of worry in her voice.

"I gotta get him home right away, they both have really bad asthma and he needs a nebulizer treatment ASAP!", Dean answered, his voice sounding incredibly strained. He began heading for the Impala, suddenly stopping short when he realized he was forgetting a very important someone. He turned to Sam reaching an arm out to take his daughter, who was crying softly.

"Dean slow down! I'm coming with you!", Sam spoke loudly, trying to catch Dean's attention, he'd never seen his brother like, it was scaring him. He wasn't quite succeeding, so Jess took over.

"Dean take a deep breath, for me. You need to calm down, you're scaring the kids.", Jess spoke calmly, but assertively.

Dean nodded, taking a few deep breaths and letting them out slowly. "Okay I'm calm now. Asha it's okay daddy didn't mean to scare you."

Asha nodded wiping her tears away and answering, "'Kay daddy."

Dean smiled at her then turned to Sam and Jess, "Sam come with me, Jess can you meet us at my place, it's next door to Rach and Jake's."

Both Sam and Jessica nodded, Jess heading off to get in her car, while Sam, Dean, Asha, and Alec headed for the Impala.

Ten minutes later had them all entering Dean's place. Dean turned to Jess and Sam asking, softly, "Can you guys keep Asha entertained while I take care of Alec. We can talk once I have him settled. They're both due for a nap anyway."

They both nodded and distracted Asha by asking her about the toys, that were neatly put away in the corner of the medium sized living room. Dean carried a coughing Alec down the hall and into the twin's bedroom. The walls were a sage green and the cribs and dresser were painted an off white. Dean walked over to the crib on the right, gently placing his son inside so he could grab a pair of pajamas from the dresser. Reaching into the pajama drawer he pulled out Alec's favorite pair of pajamas. A long sleeve white t-shirt with camouflage sleeves and camouflage pants. He headed back over to the crib, the old wooden floor creaking under his feet, and quickly undressed his son before pulling on the pajama bottoms.

Next he grabbed the t-shirt and Alec, carrying his baby boy down the hall and into his own bedroom. Dean placed him on the bed, before setting up the nebulizer and giving it to Alec, who by now understood what the blasted thing was used for. He put it in his mouth and began breathing in the medicine. "Stay right here buddy, daddy will be right back."

Alec nodded and Dean headed into the ice blue colored bathroom across the hall, grabbing the Mentholatum Children's Chest Rub from the medicine cabinet. He headed back into his room, over to Alec and began rubbing some on the little guy's chest. After putting the cap back on he placed it on the bedside table. Then he took the nebulizer from Alec for a moment so he could put on the boy's pajama shirt. When that was done Dean he handed the nebulizer back to Alec, asking softly, "What song do you want daddy to sing you, Hush Little Baby or Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You?" Alec nodded and to be sure Dean asked, "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You?" Again Alec nodded, watching with half lidded eyes as Dean got comfortable on the bed. Once he saw that his daddy was settled he clambered over to him, making himself comfortable on his daddy's firm chest. A minute later the nebulizer treatment was finished and Dean leaned over, turning off the machine, which was resting on the bedside table. Alec handed Dean the mouth piece and snuggled into Dean's chest more comfortably. Dean smiled and pressed a tender kiss to his son's unruly blonde hair. Rubbing a gentle hand up and down his son's back as he began singing. 

_You're just to good to be true_

_Can't take my eyes off of you_

_You'd be like heaven to touch_

_I wanna hold you so much_

_At long last love has arrived_

_And I thank God I'm alive_

_You're just too good to be true_

_Can't take my eyes off of you_

_Pardon the way that I stare_

_There's nothing else to compare_

_The sight of you leaves me weak_

_There are no words left to speak_

_But if you feel like I feel_

_Please let me know that it's real_

_You're just too good to be true_

_Can't take my eyes off of you_

_I love you baby, and if it's quite alright_

_I need you baby to warm the lonely night_

_I love you baby. Trust in me when I say,_

_Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray_

_Oh pretty baby, now that I found you stay_

_And let me love you, baby let me love you_

_You're just too good to be true_

_Can't take my eyes off of you_

_You'd be like heaven to touch_

_I wanna hold you so much_

_At long last love has arrived_

_And I thank God I'm alive_

_You're just to good to be true_

_Can't take my eyes off of you_

_I love you baby, and if it's quite alright_

_I need you baby to warm the lonely night_

_I love you baby. Trust in me when I say,_

_Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray_

_Oh pretty baby now that I found you stay_

_Oh pretty baby, trust in me when I say,_

_I need you baby, well will you come my way_

_Oh pretty baby now that I found you stay,_

_And let me love you baby, baby let me love you_

Dean sighed as he finished the song, looking down at his now sleeping son. Alec's breathing was a little more wheezy than usual, but it was better than it had been before the nebulizer treatment. Hopefully he wasn't going to have to bring the little guy to the hospital. Dean slowly eased out from under his son, and tucked Alec in. He was keeping Alec in his room while he was sick, he didn't want Asha getting sick, too. That was all he needed the two of them sick and in the hospital again.

Sighing again he resignedly walked out of his room, down the hall, and into the living room. It was time to face the music, he and Sammy had a lot to talk about. Dean was so not looking forward to this, he didn't want to dredge up memories of Marissa and how she left, but Sam was undoubtedly going to want to talk about her. When he got to the living room he only saw Sam and Jess. "Where's Asha, did you put her down for a nap?", he questioned, softly.

Jess nodded, answering, "Yeah she was falling to sleep, so I put her in her crib."

"Thank you, sorry about before, I kind of panic when either one of them get sick.", Dean admitted, sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he sat down on the couch next to Sam.

"Yeah I noticed that. Why do you, kids catch colds all the time?", Sam asked, curiously.

"When their mother was pregnant with them there were complications. The doctors put Marissa, their mother, on bed rest at the beginning of the sixth month of the pregnancy, but a few weeks later she started having a lot of pains. I brought her to the hospital, she… she was bleeding and the doctors decided to do a cesarean section, they were hoping it would give at least one of the babies a chance to survive. They both survived and were put on ventilators.", Dean said, voice strained because of the painful memories.

After a moment, voice still strained, "The doctors said that it was likely neither of them would make it through the night, they did. Then the doctors said Al and Asha probably wouldn't make it past a week, I didn't believe them, I knew my kids were fighters, I was right. Then the doctors said that the twins wouldn't make it past a month and if they did they'd have all kinds of physical and mental disabilities. Again they were wrong our babies made it, we got to take them home three months later. They were still a little under the weather, but they were okay, they ended up being really healthy. Only medical problem they have is severe asthma, so when they get colds I freak because it upsets their asthma. Most of the time when they get a cold it turns into pneumonia, four of the times it was bad enough that they ended up in the hospital for it. I just don't want anything to happen to them, they're my babies, I love them so damn much."

"God that's rough, but it's lucky that they're so healthy.", Jess spoke, soothingly.

"Yeah, they're my little miracle babies. You know sometimes it cracks me up that the doctors thought they'd be brain damaged, their intelligence is above average. They're amazing, I can't imagine what my life would be like without them.", he spoke softly, fondly.

Both Sam and Jess smiled at him, Sam asking, "So where is their mother, at work?"

Dean looked up then, hazel-green filled with a longing that Sam thinks he's only ever seen when Dean talks about their mother. Sam remembers that as a kid it had always scared him to see that look. Dean, he'd always been so strong, he'd never really cried, and he was always there for Sam. Dean was the one who'd chased away the nightmares by letting Sammy curl up in his bed, and hugging him with care. Dean was the one who'd cleaned up his scraped knees, bandaging them with cool Spiderman Band-Aids, and making the hurt go away with magic kisses. Dean had been the one who'd give Sam a bath, and tuck him into bed, never forgetting to kiss his forehead, and read him a bedtime story or sing him momma's song. Dean had been the one who'd taught Sam how to tie his shoes, how to ride a bike, how to play basketball, and a surplus of other things. It had been Dean who'd always let Sam have the last of the Lucky Charms, and who'd always had a bear hug to spare if Sam needed one. Sam remembers that when he was a kid Dean had been his whole world, he remembers that he'd thought Dean to be invincible. So when he saw that vulnerability in Dean it scared him. He hadn't seen it often, and Sam sometimes found himself forgetting that it was there, sometimes it was as if he thought that Dean didn't feel emotional hurt or pain. He supposes that it's probably what Dean wants him to think.

Right now though, Sam could see that vulnerability and he was hoping to God that this Marissa women, that Dean obviously loved, hadn't died. Dean didn't deserve to feel that loss along with the loss of a mother, it just wasn't fair. He hadn't been expecting to hear Dean's voice, cracking with pain as he said, "No, um… she left the night we brought the twins home from the hospital. She… she'd been a wreck those three months, worrying about Alec and Asha all the time. If we'd have lost them I think she'd probably have gone crazy. She's had a pretty rough life, she never knew her father, and her mother and little brother died when she was seventeen. After their death it was just her and Rachel, they were all that was left, and when Rachel left to come here for college it was just her. She never really dealt with any of it, so almost losing the twins had been too much for her, she couldn't handle it. She's trying to deal with everything, so she can get on with her life. I wish she would call, tell me how things are going, let me know if she thinks she's ever gonna be able to come back."

"Dean that sucks man, I'm sorry. You, you've been through so much shit Dean, it's not fair. You've had enough people leaving on you Dean, Mom when she died, relatives because they thought Dad was crazy, Dad was leaving us alone all the time, and me, I left. You don't deserve that Dean, you just don't.", Sam stated, sincerely.

Dean chuckled cynically, "Yeah, it's one of the only things that's certain in my life. People leave."

After a moment he spoke, sadly, "I miss her so damn much, and it hurts… it hurts really bad. I know this is totally cliché and I would usually never admit to something so sappy but, I loved her at first sight. She was kicking some biker's ass and when she finished I went over to talk to her. As soon as she opened her mouth I knew I was in trouble, I didn't care that I was probably going to end up getting hurt. I just wanted to know her. When she found out about what I do, you know, she didn't run away screaming. I thought maybe I have a shot with this girl, so I told her how I felt about her, I told her that I loved her, and she said it back. She told me she'd never leave, that she'd always be there, she promised she wasn't gonna be like everybody else."

"I'm sorry that she didn't keep her promise Dean.", Sam said, squeezing Dean's shoulder gently.

"I think that's what hurts the most, she knew how hard it was for me to trust that she wouldn't leave. And she did, she left.", Dean said, softly, sighing heavily. He ran a tired hand through his soft blonde hair.

'_Yeah that's what hurt the most.'_

TBC…

AN: Sorry if this chapter was too long. I hope you enjoyed it. I know Dean was OOC, but I think it was the only way to get Sam to understand how much Marissa and his kids mean to him. Next chapter will involve Dean and Sam talking about why Dean's in Palo Alto, and there will definitely be mentions of John. Please Review and constructive criticism is always welcome.

Thanks,

Alaina


	6. All About Dean

Title: Family Means Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of it's characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

AN: Here is chapter six, I hope you enjoy. Thank you for all the reviews, they're very much appreciated.

Chapter 6: All About Dean

It had been two weeks since Dean had run into Sam and Jess on Stanford's campus and things were great. Amazingly great, Dean couldn't remember the last time his life had run so smoothly. Dean and Sam had talked things through, Dean dragging his feet most of the way. It had taken awhile for Sam to get him to talk about the fact that Sam had left and not answered Dean's phone calls. It was an understandably hurtful subject for Dean and Sam was now aware of the fact.

Sam had matured during the four years he'd been away at Stanford. He'd seemed to realize that he'd taken Dean for granted before he'd left. He'd realized, while being away from his brother how much he loved him and how much he depended on him. He understood now that Dean had essentially sacrificed his whole childhood to make Sam's childhood as normal as possible. Sam had felt guilty as hell because he knew that as he'd gotten older all he'd done was complain about how much his life sucked and he'd never thanked Dean for all the things he did or thought about how Dean felt. He'd found himself missing his brother so damn much some days and he'd swore to himself that if he and Dean ever started hanging out again he would treat his brother better. So now that he was with Dean again he had made sure Dean knew how grateful he was for everything Dean had ever done for him.

Dean had felt a warmth spread through him at hearing the sincere gratefulness in his brother's voice. He'd spoken to Sam softly, warmly, "Sammy I'm not gonna lie to you and say that it was easy to look after you, because truthfully sometimes it wasn't. But I want you to understand something, you're my responsibility and I've _never_ resented you for it. You're my baby brother, I'm your big brother, it's my job to look after you, and Sammy I love my job."

Sam had smiled, brilliantly, speaking with the same amount of warmth as his big brother, "I'm glad you love your job, 'cause I gotta tell you big brother I still need you, at least a little bit."

Dean had smiled brightly, and after a moment of silence said, "No more caring and sharing, we've talked enough today to last us a goddamn life time."

"Alright Dean, no more caring and sharing… at least for today.", Sam had assured, rolling his moss-green eyes, as he'd pushed floppy brown bangs out of his face.

Jess had chosen that moment to speak up. "So Dean, about those stories?"

Dean had smirked mischievously, hazel-green eyes shining bright with mirth, speaking animatedly, "When Sammy was in the 8th grade he was Snoopy in the play You're A Good Man Charlie Brown.

"Dean not this one!", Sam snapped, shoving Dean's shoulder.

Dean smiled, rolling his eyes at his brother. "Yes, this one."

Turning back to Jess, "Anyway he'd just turned 14 at the time, he was all gangly and awkward, meaning that he was a grade A klutz. Well, during the play he tripped over his own two feet knocking Peppermint Patty and himself off the stage. They landed on the drama teacher, who was pretty heavyset lady, and she fell back landing right on top of the assistant principle and her young daughter. The little girl was wailing hysterically and the assistant principle was cursing up a blue streak. Most of the parents in the theatre were appalled at the fact she was swearing in front of the little ears in the audience."

By the end of the story Dean and Jessica had both been hysterical with laughter. Sam had been blushing furiously, which made Dean and Jessica lapse into another round of hysterics. When Jessica had finally composed herself she'd thrown a caring arm around Sam's shoulders. She'd smiled lovingly, her blue eyes sparkling with affection and amusement, speaking loudly, "Awww Sam, don't be embarrassed, I think the fact that you were a klutz is endearing. And the fact that you were in a musical, god that is so cute!"

Dean had smiled brightly, speaking fondly, "Sam did a few musicals after that one. I remember when he did Our Town, he was really good in it, it was a cute play."

Jess had smiled at Dean after kissing Sam on the cheek and Dean had smiled back.

Since meeting Jessica Sam had always thought that her and Dean would get along great, but he hadn't expected them to be instant best friends. Despite the fact that they were relentless in their teasing of him, Sam loved it. Jake had also been happy to join in on said teasing. There was constant bantering between all of them, it was fun. Especially between Sam and Dean and Dean and Jess, but they were all just playing around. Jess had admitted to Sam that she loved Dean like the big brother she'd never had.

She loved watching Dean with Alec and Asha, she thought he was damn adorable with his kids. Sam himself loved watching Dean with the munchkins, Dean loved his kids so damn much, they made him so happy. Sam liked seeing his brother happy, he realized that he hadn't seen Dean _really_ happy for a long while before he left. Sam and John were the cause of that with their constant fighting. They were always trying to get Dean to choose sides, and neither of them had realized how much they were hurting him in the process.

It wasn't going to be like that anymore, if his dad ever came around Sam wasn't going to fight with him. For Dean's sake, because honestly Sam owed Dean a lot, the guy had raised him with minimal help from John. Dean wouldn't see it that way, as far as he was concerned that was just his job and Sam didn't owe him anything for it.

Anyway, they were all currently lounging around Dean's living room. Sam, Jess, Jake, and Rachel were all done with classes for the summer. They were all content to spend their time with the kids and Dean. Dean didn't have work today, it was Saturday morning and they were watching cartoons. Jake was stretched out on the couch, Rachel lying on top of him, head resting on his chest as they both watched Looney Toons. Jess was curled up on the arm chair, head resting on the armrest, tired blue eyes staring at the screen. Sam and Dean were both stretched out on the floor, laying on their stomachs, elbows resting on the carpet as they used their hands to prop up their heads so they could stare at the television screen. Asha was sitting on Sam's back, little hands absent mindedly twining in Sam's thick mop of hair as she watched as well. Alec was lying on the floor in between Sam and Dean, mirroring their position as he peered intently at the Road Runner.

Sam, despite the fact that they were watching television, was trying to convince Dean to take college courses during the summer. "Goddamn it Sam, give it a rest would ya. I'm trying to watch the Road Runner trick Wile E. Coyote. Plus college costs too much money, I don't have that kinda cash.", Dean responded in annoyance.

"Then just take one course, you'll have Jess, Rach, Jake, and I to help out with the kids. You're smart Dean, and you're always selling yourself short, if you took a course it would give you more options for a job.", Sam pushed, gently.

"Sam I have a job already and it's a good job, it pays well. I like my boss, and he gives me flexible hours so I can spend time with Al and Asha. That's all I really need. I also don't sell myself short, I'm not stupid Sam, despite the fact that I was busy handling all kinds of crap when I was in high school I still managed to get all A's and B's. You can't be stupid to manage that.", Dean spoke, sharply.

"I know you're not stupid Dean, that's why I want you to go. Haven't you ever had a dream, that's just for you, not for anybody else?", Sam questioned, moss-green eyes boring into Dean's hazel-green ones.

"Of course I have Sam, you're not the only one who wanted to go to college. I applied to a lot of places even though I knew I wasn't gonna go. You and dad needed me and you guys are more important than my dreams. I only applied because I wanted to know where I could get in and because education was really important to mom. She was a third grade teacher.", Dean said, almost casually.

"I didn't know that you applied to colleges, Dean.", Sam spoke, softly, the slightest hint of an accusation in his voice.

"Yeah, well I only told Pastor Jim, I didn't want anyone else to know. Pastor Jim promised he wouldn't tell you or dad, and he always keeps his promises.", Dean answered truthfully, hand running through his sleep rumpled dark blonde hair.

"Oh. Dean was mom really a third grade teacher?", Sam questioned, curious. Dean didn't really talk about their mom much, it usually made him sad, left him with an intense longing and a bone deep ache. So of course Sam was going to take advantage of this unforeseen situation.

Dean smiled, sadly, "Yeah, she loved her job, she loved kids and she loved education, so I guess she figured why not combine the two things. You know, she wanted a lot of kids, if she hadn't died… um we'd probably have a few more siblings."

"I never really thought about that, I mean I've always wondered what it would be like if mom hadn't died. But, the way I imagined it, it was just you, mom, dad, and me. Well, I for one am glad that it's just me and you. If we had other siblings we probably wouldn't be as close.", Sam spoke, contemplatively.

"Yeah, we probably wouldn't be.", Dean responded, brows furrowed at the thought of him and Sammy not being close. Dean hoped that spending four years apart would be the closest they came to not being best friends.

"Dean what colleges did you get into?", Sam questioned, curious.

Dean glanced at Sam, expression wary, "Why, it doesn't really matter?"

"Maybe not, I was just curious is all.", Sam explained, honestly. He was giving Dean the puppy dog eyes again.

Dean sighed heavily, he really couldn't say no to Sammy when the kid looked at him like that. Not that he'd ever admit that to Sam, even if Sam already knew it. "Okay I'll tell you, but don't say anything stupid 'cause I'll kick your ass.", Dean warned, gruffly.

Sam smiled, delightedly, "I promise I won't say anything stupid."

By now only the twins and a tired Jake were paying attention to the cartoon. Jessica was staring intently at both Winchester brothers, she liked watching them spend time together, and listening to their conversations. Before Dean had unexpectedly shown up Sam hadn't been very forthcoming when it came to his family. She'd only known a few things, 1). Sam's mom had died when he was a baby and his brother was four, 2). His mom's name was Mary. 3). Sam's brother's name was Dean, 4). His father's name was John. 5). Sam and his father had gotten into a major fight before Sam left for Stanford, and John had told Sam not to come back. And 6). Dean and Sam weren't talking, but they'd always been close. Suffice to say, Jessica was enjoying seeing this new side of Sam, and learning more about his family.

As far as she could tell Dean was the greatest big brother there was, and he was one hell of an interesting person. He was a lot different than Sam, but Jessica liked who he was. Getting to know Dean was difficult though. From what she could tell he didn't let people in easy, and he was an extremely complicated person. The only way she could think to describe getting to know him would be _slowly_ peeling off layer after layer. She bet that most people wrote Dean off as somebody with a pretty face who was shallow and stupid. It seemed to her that Dean was afraid to let people think anything other than that, but Jess prided herself on being good at reading people. She had quite a lot of practice, people had always fascinated her, she liked studying them. As a young teen she had loved going to the mall or the park and just sitting their and watching people interacting with one another. That's why she was a psychology major, and well to be quite honest besides Sam, Dean was the only person that had captivated her this much. She didn't know if it was because he was Sam's brother or just because he intrigued her, but she really wanted to get to know this man. From her initial assessment Dean was guarded, and used humor as a defense mechanism, but under all that sarcasm and bravado was a guy with a big heart, he loved his family till the end of the earth. The last part was quite obvious if anybody took the time to watch him with his brother or his kids.

Across the room from Jess, Rachel was having similar thoughts. She was definitely enjoying seeing Dean with his brother, it was quite obvious that he'd missed Sam a lot. She'd already known that though, back before Marissa had left him she would call and tell her little sis all about her boy. One of the things she'd mentioned was how important his baby brother was to him, that when he called his brother and the kid didn't call him back he'd get pretty sullen. Rachel was glad to see him spending time with Sam, it made him happy, she knew it would also make Marissa happy. Marissa had always told her that if Sam didn't come to his senses and realize what he was missing out on, where Dean was concerned, she'd come to Stanford and kick his ass. Rachel had always wondered what it was about Dean that got such a visceral reaction out of her big sister, she wasn't the type of girl to get attached to just any guy. Now that she was getting to know him Rachel could see why Marissa cared for him so much, why she'd fallen for him hook, line, and, sinker. Dean was special, he had so much compassion in him, and they way he loved his family was amazing. It was such an unconditional love, and Rachel felt blessed to be considered family to him.

Marissa had told her once that Dean was the strongest person she knew, but there was something inherently vulnerable about him, and if you didn't know him well it was something you wouldn't notice. Dean and the kids had been here for about a month now and she had noticed what Marissa was talking about, the poor guy had a lot of deep seated insecurities. He did his best to hide them and he was damn good at, too. She wondered what kind of things he'd been through that had made him so wary and untrusting. She didn't think she'd be finding out, not for a long while anyway. She sighed and returned her attention back to the boys' conversation.

"Okay, I applied to six different colleges and got into all of them. Uh… they were UCLA, USC, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT.", Dean informed Sam quietly, staring unseeing at the television screen.

Sam smiled brightly, precariously shifting his weight onto his left elbow, so he could use his right hand to pat Dean on the back. "Those are all really great schools Dean. Wow, that's just friggin' awesome man!", Sam praised, enthusiastically.

Dean's face flushed slightly at the simple praise from his brother. He cast a sidelong glance in Sam's direction, muttering softly, "The only school I didn't get a full ride to was Yale."

"What the hell does Yale know anyway.", Sam grumbled, shooting Dean a conspirational grin.

_That_ smile from Sam had made Dean feel like he was all of ten years old, back when he'd been Sammy's superhero. When it was just Sammy and Dean against the world. Dean couldn't help, but respond the way he did. He ducked his head, looking up a moment later, beaming at Sam widely, a faint blush dusting his cheeks, making his freckles stand out like ink dots.

To say Sam was stunned by his brother's reaction was a bit of understatement, but he played it off like it was nothing out of the ordinary. He hadn't realized Dean was self-conscious about school, self-conscious about anything really. He'd always seen Dean as his confident older brother, this was new territory for him, for the both of them. Maybe he'd talk to Jess about it later, she always helped him work through things.

Sam wasn't the only one who was surprised, Jessica had seen Dean's reaction as well, and it intrigued her more. She filed away this new piece of information in the back of her mind, when she and Sam went home for the night she'd ask him about it.

"Dean please take one course, it wouldn't get in the way of your job, and you'll have four people who'll baby-sit for you.", Sam pleaded, puppy dog eyes on full force.

"I'm not promising anything, but I'll look into it. I have to see how much this is gonna cost me and what kind of courses wherever I _might_ go is offering.", Dean responded, honestly.

Sam's face lit up like it was Christmas morning, and he spoke fervently, "Yes! This is awesome… on Monday we'll go talk to the Dean at Stanford!"

"Hold up geek boy, I can't possibly afford Stanford and it's not like they still have a scholarship waiting for me.", Dean said, looking at Sam as if he was off his rocker.

"I know that dumb ass, but maybe we can figure something out.", Sam responded, rolling his eyes briefly.

"Okay.", Dean amended, slowly getting up from the floor. He leaned down picking Asha up off of her Uncle's back, tucking the little girl against his chest. As he watched Sam get up, he scolded him, "Watch your language around my kids, alright."

Sam nodded, watching his niece pet the stubble on her father's face, saying, "Daddy I hungry."

Dean smiled at her, "Alright honey, daddy will make you something." Looking down at his son, who had now turned his attention to the conversation going on above him, he asked, "How 'bout you buddy, you hungry?"

Alec stood up, rubbing at his stomach, exclaiming, "I can eat a cow!"

Everybody burst out laughing, and Alec looked at them, hazel-green eyes shining with confusion. "Dat's how you say it, wight?", he questioned.

Dean nodded, smiling brightly, leaning down and scooping up his son. He kissed the blonde curls lovingly, before speaking warmly, "Yeah baby, that's how you say it. Okay, how 'bout pancakes?"

The squealed, "Yes!", came from both twins and the girls.

Dean smiled and they all headed into the kitchen for the aforementioned pancakes.

TBC…

AN: Sorry it took me so long to update, I was on vacation and my cousin's computer is ancient. I know there wasn't much of the kids in this chapter, but there will be more in the next one. I hope you enjoyed this, please review, it's very much appreciated. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Thanks,

Alaina


	7. Perceptive

Title: Family Means Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of its characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

AN: Here is chapter seven, I hope you enjoy. Thank you for all the reviews, they're very much appreciated.

Chapter 7: Perceptive

Sam smiled as he unlocked the door and walked into Dean's house. He closed the door behind him, dropping his worn backpack on the floor and kicking off his shoes. He shoved his keys in his right pocket as he made his way into the living room. "Hey Dean, I'm here!", he called, loudly.

"'Kay, I'll be out in a minute!", Dean called back, voice carrying down the hall from the bathroom.

Sam smiled, flopping down on the comfortable sofa. He was sleeping at Dean's for the next couple of days. Jess and Rach had left on a road trip with a few friends and Jake was hanging out with friends from high school, so Sam thought it'd be fun to spend all his free time with Dean and the twins. Dean hadn't been as outwardly thrilled about Sam sleeping over as Sam was. He'd looked at Sam as if he'd finally lost it, his voice incredulous, sarcastic, "Are you fuckin' kidding me, you wanna have a slumber party? What're we gonna do _Samantha_, talk? Or maybe we'll paint our nails."

"God you're such an ass! I only wanted to spend time with you, Alec, and Asha, with nobody else there.", Sam had grumbled, irritably.

Dean had smirked, one eyebrow raised, asking mockingly, "You been jealous Sammy?"

"I really hate you sometimes.", Sam had huffed in full on exasperation.

"I know you do.", Dean had responded, his lush pink lips curling up in another smirk.

Sam had looked at Dean with wide pleading eyes, speaking imploringly, "Please Dean."

"Sam…", Dean had warned in exasperation.

Sam hadn't heeded the warning, his moss-green eyes still stared imploringly, and his lower lip had been jutting out in a pout. "Puh-lease Dean.", he'd pleaded.

Dean had sighed before relenting, defeat written all over his face, "Alright, you can sleep over, but no goddamn chick flick moments."

Sam had smiled exuberantly, "I promise, no chick flick moments."

Sam sighed, leaning his head against the back off the couch. He might have to break his promise, he really needed to talk to Dean, to be honest he was kind of worried about him. Which was bothering Sam, and it was bothering him because there was no denying that Dean was the happiest Sam had seen him in a long while. It was just that there was something different about his brother.

Sam wasn't sure if it was just because Dean was a father now or because of everything that had happened since Sam had come to Stanford, but Dean was now both more open and more closed off than when Sam had left. If that even made any sense. He'd talked through it with Jessica the other night and she helped him understand Dean a little bit more by sharing her perspective. He hoped that spending time with Dean for the next couple of days would help him get to know his brother even better.

Dean padded into the living room just then, fully dressed and toweling his hair dry. He smiled at Sam, speaking softly, "Hey Sammy, Alec and Asha are gonna be up from their naps any minute now. I was thinking we could take them to the park."

Sam smiled back, speaking cheerfully, "Yeah, that sounds great!"

As if on queue a shrill yell sounded from the twins bedroom, "Daddy!"

Dean and Sam both smiled in amusement and made their way to the twins bedroom. Upon entering the room they were met with the sight of Asha leaning on the rail of the crib, waiting patiently for her daddy. Alec however was not so patient, he was currently trying to climb out of his crib. He was balancing precariously on the crib rail so Sam rushed to grab him, but Dean beat him to it. He pulled his son close, scolding the boy gently, voice worried, "Alec what did daddy tell you about trying to get out of your crib by yourself?"

Sam turned his head away from his brother so Dean wouldn't see his smile, he didn't know if he was ever going to get used to hearing Dean refer to himself as daddy. Shaking his head in amusement, he walked over to the other crib, picking his niece up.

She smiled at him saying, softly, "Hi Unca Sammy."

Sam smiled back at her, adjusting the little girl on his hip before saying, "Hi princess."

Then he turned to watch Dean and Alec. The little boy was pouting at his father, most-likely hoping it would get him out of trouble. God, the kid was adorable, his wavy blonde curls were rumpled from sleep, and his hazel-green eyes were shining brightly, he looked just like Dean.

Dean sighed, heavily, melting a little at the sight of his son's pleading puppy dog eyes, and that adorable pout. He was standing firm though, he couldn't give into the little guy in this case. Climbing out of the crib was dangerous, Alec could seriously get hurt. He spoke in a warning voice, "Alec, what did daddy say about trying to climb out of the crib?"

Alec let out a heavy sigh as if it was painful for him to answer the question. Dean felt his lips quirk up in a hint of a smile despite himself. Alec finally answered, "No."

"Exactly I said no, and no means no dude.", Dean said, firmly.

"I sowy daddy, I won't do it again.", Alec said, looking up at Dean with wide jade eyes.

"That's what you said the last time you tried to get out of your crib buddy.", Dean said with a sigh, before kissing his son's blonde curls.

He laughed as the little boy shrugged his shoulders helplessly, staring at Dean with a look that clearly said he didn't know how to respond. He smiled, placing his son on the floor and turning to Sam, asking, softly, "Can you get him back in his camo pants, and then put his sneakers on while I fix Asha's hair?"

Sam nodded, "Sure, but where are the pants?"

"Thanks, they're on the dresser.", Dean answered, before turning his attention to his daughter. He took the little girl from Sam, smiling brightly, and pressing a tender kiss to her wavy blonde curls. He spoke affectionately, "Hey honey, did you have a good nap?"

Asha nodded, beaming at him, before questioning curiously, "Daddy why Awec need shoes, we goin' out?"

Both Dean and Sam smiled at her perceptiveness and Dean answered her question with a smile, "Yup we're going to the park."

"Park!", Alec screeched, wiggling in Sam's grasp as Sam tried to pull the boy's pants up.

"Alec, buddy you have stop squirming so I can get these pants on you, if you wanna go to the park you have to have your pants on.", Sam said to his nephew, amusement clear in his voice.

"I know Unca Sammy, I just wanna go.", Alec said, letting out a big sigh, and looking up at Sam with dejected puppy dog eyes. Sam melted, the kid was good, he'd give him that. Sam himself hadn't perfected his puppy dog face until he was three, this kid was only two and a half and he had it down pat. Sam smiled at the little guy, speaking conspirationally, "Then we'll just have to get you dressed faster buddy."

Alec beamed at him, and then stood still so Sam could finish dressing him. He spoke, softly, "'Kay Unca Sammy."

Sam smiled, ruffling the boy's rumpled curls, before quickly pulling up the boy's camo pants, and then carrying him into the living room to put on his sneakers.

Dean shook his head in amusement before turning his attention to his daughter. He spoke, softly, "Your brother is a silly little boy, baby girl."

Asha smiled, brightly, responding to his statement with enthusiasm, nodding vigorously in agreement, "Awec is weally silly."

"Yes he is.", Dean said, as he tickled his daughter's tummy. The little girl burst into giggles, causing Dean's whole face to light up. He loved hearing his children's laughter, it made him happy in a way most things couldn't. It was a beautiful sound, joyful. He couldn't imagine not having his kids, he loved them way too much to even think about it.

He smiled at his daughter before kissing her wavy curls lovingly. "Alright baby girl, it's time for daddy to fix your hair.", he spoke, softly. He carried her over to little table and chairs in the corner of the room, placing her on one of the chairs.

She smiled up at him, speaking eagerly, "Huwwy up daddy, I wanna go."

He nodded, plucking her hair brush off the table, and combing her thick curls. After all the snarls were out he fixed her hair into two braids. "All set honey.", he said, before picking her up and heading into the living room.

Sam was currently flying Alec around the living room, making airplane noises as the boy giggled. Dean smiled at them, asking on his way to grab Asha's sneakers, "You having fun with Uncle Sammy kiddo?"

Alec smiled brightly, speaking, cheerfully, "Yeah, Unca Sammy is good at the aiwplane game! He's gonna play with us at the park!"

Dean turned to smile at his son as he tied the laces his daughter's sneakers. "Awesome dude!", he said, his voice as cheerful as his son's.

"Alright lets get going.", he said, smiling as he picked up his daughter. The four of them made there way out the door, Dean expertly adjusting Asha on his hip as he locked it behind them. They made their way over to the Impala, buckling both kids into their car seats before getting in themselves. Dean smiled, as he put the car in reverse, and slowly peeled out of the driveway.

Sam eyed his brother curiously, asking, softly, "Is this something you do often, take the kids to the park, I mean?"

"Yeah, why?", Dean spoke, his hazel-green eyes peering questioningly at Sam before turning back to the road.

"No reason really.", Sam said with a quick shrug of his broad shoulders. He really did have a reason for asking, but he didn't know how to explain it to Dean without sounding like a whiny little bitch. Still Sam should've known better than to lie to his big brother, Dean was a friggin' human lie detector or something, especially when it came to his baby brother. Despite the fact that Dean would close himself off when someone tried to get information out of him he was damn near relentless when it came to getting information out of someone else.

Dean sighed heavily, using the rearview mirror to check on the kids before turning most of his attention to Sam and the situation at hand. "Sam that's a load of crap, now c'mon tell me what's goin' on in that geek boy head of your's."

"Geek boy huh? You know I could call you the same thing, after all, you got into Stanford with a full ride too, not to mention USC, UCLA, Princeton, and MIT.", Sam said, moss-green eyes shining with amusement, a smug grin plastered across his face.

Dean rolled his eyes before smirking, "Nice try Sammy, but you should know by now that deflection doesn't work on me."

Sam huffed out a frustrated breath, glaring at Dean through shaggy bangs. "You're so annoying.", Sam stated, irritably.

"Yup I'm a pain in the ass, but that's a big brother's prerogative. Now spill.", Dean said, firmly, shooting Sam a glare of his own.

Sam smirked a little as he spoke smugly, "Yeah, well it's a little brother's prerogative, too."

"I know, you're demonstrating it right now, cut the crap.", Dean spoke, his voice even, but the heat of his glare had turned up a few degrees.

Sam watched as the vibrant green eyes spit fire at him, he had no doubt that if looks could kill he'd already be dead. He sighed heavily in defeat, bowing his head and looking up at Dean through his eyelashes. Dean's eyes softened considerably at that. "I… I just… I was wondering 'cause… Well…"

Dean studied Sam as his little brother fidgeted in his seat, those moss-green eyes staring at him with that _'Please Fixit Dean'_ look Dean was so accustomed to seeing after all these years. He was pretty sure he knew what this was about now. He and Sam hadn't been able to go to the park very often as children, a lot of the time their dad had been too busy and he didn't want them going out on their own. Dean sighed, when Sam usually brought up what he thought about their father's parenting style, Dean would say, _'Well Dad did his best.'_ It was the truth but, Dean knew that wasn't good enough, he needed to elaborate on that. He spoke softly, seriously, holding Sam's gaze, "Look Sam, I know that our childhood wasn't always so great, but…"

Sam gaped at Dean, before cutting him off, tone indignant, "How do you do that? Am I _that_ easy to read?"

"No, I just know you Sammy. You know it's me, Dean, the person who has always looked after you.", Dean said, his inflection holding a hint of mirth, but his smile was genuine.

Sam nodded, Dean always knew how to figure out what was wrong in Sam's world. He doesn't know how Dean always knew what to do, he just knows that Dean always figures it out, well when it comes to Sam anyway. The only reason it still surprised Sam was because Dean couldn't always know everything, after all he wasn't a mind reader. Or maybe he was, because that would sure as hell explain a lot, Dean was always so good at reading people.

"Sam.", Dean spoke, trying to get Sam's attention.

"Sorry, uh what were you saying?", Sam asked, his tone flustered.

Dean sighed before speaking softly, "I said that I know our childhood wasn't always so great, but dad, he didn't want that life for us. He really didn't, but he didn't know what he was doing Sam, not without mom. He was a real mess after the fire, drinking all the time…"

Sam rolled his eyes, before cutting Dean off, "Why am I not surprised?"

Dean took one hand off the wheel, running it through his hair a few times in frustration. When he turned back to Sam he was calm, he spoke softly, reasonably, "Sam dad is far from perfect and I know that, but you have to be reasonable here. I understand you're angry with dad, I do, but when it comes to dad and getting along with him you need to think with that brilliant brain of your's and not your emotions. The two you of are too goddamn alike, you're so goddamn stubborn."

"I'm nothing like him!", Sam protested in righteous indignation, eyes smoldering.

Dean rolled his eyes, before leveling Sam with a incredulous look. "Sam I'm not saying that you'd make the same decisions as him, I'm saying that two of you are goddamn stubborn and opinionated. This is the problem you have Sam, when it comes to dad and your feelings you're not rational. Listen to me for a minute, you don't know all that much about dad, and before you get all defensive I'm not blaming you, because truthfully that's more dad's fault than yours. But dad, he didn't have a father figure in his life, his dad left when he was three. His mother loved him and his older siblings, but she worked a lot, being a single mother and all, so as far as affection went dad didn't get much of it Sammy. He joined the marines because he needed more structure in his life and as great as that was for him, the marines don't exactly teach you how deal with your emotions. Look Sam, mom was the person who helped him learn how to be more open and affectionate, and he loved her so much.", Dean spoke, his voice deadly serious, his hazel-green eyes boring into Sam's moss-green ones.

"How do you know all of that?", Sam questioned, way more than a hint of astonishment in his voice.

Dean's lips curled up in a small smile, "Some of it dad told me, some of it I figured out for myself."

Dean's words slammed home Sam's earlier thoughts about how good Dean was at reading people. "I knew you were observant, you've always been a stickler for detail on a hunt, but I guess I never knew _just_ how damn perceptive you are.", Sam spoke, softly, he was suddenly looking at Dean in a whole new light. For once not just seeing his over protective big brother, the obedient soldier, and hunter extraordinaire but the man that Dean was underneath all of that, and to be honest he liked what he was seeing. He guesses his wish about getting to know his brother better was coming true, he was sorry that he hadn't realized sooner that as they'd gotten older Dean was hiding more and more things about himself. He knows it's partly his fault, he hadn't exactly done things to encourage Dean to confide him, but then again he hadn't discouraged it either.

"I guess, I never really thought about it, I've always been that way, and well honestly with the way we grew up it probably made it that much more natural.", Dean spoke, quietly, more to himself than to Sam.

Sam smirked, stating in the same contemplative tone as Dean, "That makes sense."

Dean nodded.

"I think I understand where you're going with this, but I'd still like it if you finished what you were going to say.", Sam spoke, honestly, nudging Dean's shoulder a little to prompt him into speaking.

"Uh Yeah… sorry.", Dean muttered sheepishly before continuing on with his earlier train of thought, "Think about it Sam, if you were in dad's situation what would you do? He was happy Sam, things in his life were stable, he had a job, he had good friends, and he was married to the love his life. He had us too, and Sammy you don't remember what he was like before, but he took me to t-ball practice, and carried us around all the time. He was just… different and then one night he goes into your nursery and finds mom pinned to the ceiling, and bleeding. When you've spent your whole life not believing that there are things that go bump in the night and you see something like that, well that's like having everything you ever thought was real in life steer you wrong. It's enough to send anybody reeling, and all dad could see was his world falling down around him and he was scared. If that's not enough to send somebody to the bottle I don't know what is."

Sam gaped at Dean for a moment, before speaking softly, "Wow you surprised me again, um… I totally wasn't expecting that. I've never _really_ thought about it like that before, I mean I've never seen dad as somebody who got scared, I've always kind of thought he was fearless, you know. I guess I'd probably react that way too, meaning that if it were Jess I'd want revenge too. For you and dad, losing mom is more real than it is for me, if it wasn't for pictures I wouldn't even know what she looked like. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I don't feel the loss of mom as viscerally as you and dad do, if you don't remember what you lost it isn't that much of a loss at all."

"Sam I hope I didn't sound like I was insinuating that you haven't experienced as much as loss, because I didn't mean it like that at all. I don't think it hurts more or less for either of us Sammy, I think it just hurts different is all.", Dean spoke softly, honestly.

Sam spoke, softly, seriously, "I know you weren't insinuating anything Dean, you're just trying to help me understand dad better, but about what you just said I don't think that our pain over mom's death amounts to the same…"

"Sam hold onto that thought would ya, I know this is an important conversation and I promise we'll continue it later, but we're at the park now and you know how eager the kids are.", Dean interrupted, his voice full of sincerity as he parked the car, and took the keys out of the ignition.

Sam smiled, "Sounds great, it's time to let those kids of your's run wild."

Dean nodded, speaking seriously, "Good idea, but back to what spurred this whole conversation in the first place..."

"Which was?", Sam interrupted, eyebrow raised in question.

"You asked me if I brought Al and Asha to the park often, now as I was saying you know what one of the really great things about having kids is?", Dean spoke, that familiar spark in his hazel-green eyes.

Sam shrugged, eyeing Dean curiously.

"They give you the _perfect_ excuse to act like one yourself.", Dean said, with quick waggle of his eyebrows, before getting out of the car to get his kids. A smile slowly spread it's way over Sam's face, it was all bright white teeth and deep dimples, and he shook his head in amusement as he got out of the car to help his brother.

God, now that he had Dean back he had no idea how he could've lived without his brother for _four fuckin' years, _unbeknownst to Sam, Dean was thinking the same thing.

TBC…

AN: Sorry it took me so long to update. I haven't been feeling so great and I've been working on a research paper, and they've both been seriously pissing of my muse. I really I hope this chapter is good enough to make up for the lateness. Next chapter will be up soon, I promise. Please review, it's very much appreciated, and constructive criticism is always welcome.

Thanks,

Alaina


	8. Downtime

Title: Family Means Everything

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Completely AU. Set pre-pilot. Dean's got his hands full raising his two kids on his own, hunting, trying to please his father, and checking up on his baby brother Sammy. Is there anyway he and Sammy will ever be close again? Will the fact that Dean has kids help them mend their fractured relationship? Don't worry there will be hunting for both Sam and Dean. After all they still have to find John.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of its characters, but I sure as hell wish I owned Dean and the Impala. A girl can dream can't she.

AN: Here is chapter eight, I hope you enjoy. Thank you for all the reviews, they're very much appreciated.

Chapter 8: Downtime

Dean sighed as he pulled the reduced sugar chocolate milk from the fridge, slowly filling up the twins' sippy cups. He smiled as he entered the living room, he was greeted by the sight of Alec and Asha, clad in their pajamas, sitting comfortably on Sam's lap. The twins were both peering intently at the television screen, totally enraptured with Bob the Builder.

"Hey kiddos I've got your milk.", Dean said as he walked toward the couch.

All three heads, one dark, two fair swung around to look at him. Alec and Asha smiled at him, reaching out for their respective sippy cups. Dean smiled back, handing the yellow capped one to Asha and the green capped one to Alec, before dropping down onto the couch next to Sam. He looked down at the twins, asking with a soft smile, "Which one of daddy's munchkins is gonna give Uncle Sammy a break and spend some time with good ol' dad?"

"Me!", Alec screeched happily, smiling widely, his jade-green eyes sparkling with delight.

"You?!", Dean questioned, eyes wide, his eyebrows raised comically.

"Me.", Alec answered again, pointing to himself and nodding solemnly, before slowly clambering off his Uncle's lap and onto his father's. He plopped down none to gently, causing Dean to grunt loudly. He rested his head on his father's chest, taking a long sip of his chocolate milk and turning his attention back to the television screen. Dean smiled softly, before lovingly kissing his son's damp curls. The boy's hair was damp from the bath both Dean and Sam had given the twins after their messy afternoon at the park.

The first thing the twins had wanted to do upon arriving at the park was to go on the swings, but after a mere ten minutes they'd been bored and begging to go on their favorite slide. It was the biggest slide at the park, BIGGEST being the operative word, hell it was Sammy sized even; steep, wide, and partially enclosed. If you'd asked the few people who'd been at the park, they'd be hard pressed to tell you who'd had more fun, the adults or the kids. The two grown Winchesters had quickly taken to going down the slide head first. One time they'd idiotically decided to go down it together, and… well the end result hadn't been pretty. Not for Dean anyway. Sam – with his Godzilla sized limbs - had knocked him into the side of the slide, making him disoriented enough that he'd ended up face planting into the sand. Sam and the twins had found his misfortune highly amusing, much to Dean's annoyance.

Luckily Sam had some misfortune of his own, meaning that Dean had something to hold over him should his little brother open his big mouth. Shortly after finishing up on the slide, they'd headed over to the seesaw, and Sam, while lowering Alec onto said seesaw, had stood over it, feet spread about two feet apart. While Sam was chattering away to his nephew – the boy had always loved to talk - he'd failed to notice Dean placing Asha on her side of the seesaw. Of course the little girl's weight had brought her side down and her brother's side up, by the time Sam had realized what was happening it had been too late. Yup, Sam was nursing some sore balls.

Not too long after Sam's accident Alec and Asha's best friends had shown up at the park. Dean and the kids had been rolling down a hill, while Sam watched from his resting place on a rickety park bench. When they'd reached the bottom of the hill the twins had started pointing and screaming, "Daddy look, Logan, Kenzie, and Max are here!"

"Awesome, lets go play with your friends!", Dean had responded enthusiastically, smiling widely. The twins had taken off like a shot, and Dean had quickly began jogging after them as they ran in the direction of their friends. "Watch out!", he'd called, when Alec nearly tripped over a large stick in his haste to reach his goal, he needn't worry though, his kids were tough.

As they'd come to a halt, Dean had waved Sam over, smiling genuinely as he said, "Hey Nicki, uh this is my brother Sam, Sam this is Nicki Taylor. I work with her husband, and Al and Asha are friends with their kids."

Sam had nodded, smiling politely as he offered her a hand to shake, "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

She had smiled back, taking the proffered hand, speaking amiably, "It's nice to finally meet you, too. Dean and the twins having nothing but good things to say about you."

"Oh, really?", Sam had questioned, a smug smirk creeping its way onto his face as he'd nudged Dean's shoulder.

Dean had nudged back, his vibrant green eyes glaring pointedly, as he deadpanned, "No not really, she's lying, I told her you were a Godzilla sized freak."

"I don't think so.", Sam had taunted, smug smirk still plastered across his face.

"Well I did.", Dean had grumbled, shoving Sam's shoulder roughly.

Sam had huffed, shoving Dean back. Dean had just been about to retaliate when Nicki's soft laughter reached their ears. They had both turned to her, questioning in unison, conscious of the little ears a few feet away, "What's so fuc… funny!"

She had laughed harder, before composing herself, tucking a long strand of dark brown hair behind her ear, "I'm sorry, it's just you two are acting like my children and you're what, 26 and 22 years old."

Nicki had found herself laughing again as Sam stood there, grappling for something to say, while Dean just shrugged his shoulders, speaking in a way that it sounded more like a question than a statement, "Boys will be boys."

After she'd composed herself, her carnelian lips had curved up in an affectionate smile, and she'd leant forward, her hand reaching up and ruffling Dean's hair, "Yeah, boys will be boys."

Dean had rolled his jade eyes melodramatically, before smirking, causing her to laugh again. Just then her son came over, tugging at her shirt. "Mom, what's so funny?", the boy had asked, cocking his head to the side, floppy blond bangs shielding his light green eyes.

Nicki had smiled down at her son, pushing his bangs out of his face tenderly, "Dean and his brother Sam are just being idiots is all."

The blonde boy had eyed them both curiously, before speaking, his voice serious, "Did she call you morons? 'Cause she calls my dad a moron all the time and he says that it's because he's a guy, but I think it's just because he's her husband on account of the fact my mom's not sexist."

"Logan!", Nicki had admonished, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice, before looking over and checking on the younger children.

Dean had smiled, turning his attention to the boy, speaking reassuringly, "She didn't call us morons buddy. So, the next time you see your dad make sure you tell him that you were right."

Logan had smiled brightly, speaking honestly, "Okay Dean."

"Awesome, give me a high five kiddo.", Dean had responded, holding his hand up for the boy to slap.

And slap it he did, then he'd turned his attention toward Sam, who was eying the boy in confusion. Logan had smiled at him, offering his hand and speaking politely, "Hi, I'm Logan by the way, it's nice to meet you."

Sam had nodded, reaching out and shaking the boys hand, "I'm Sam, it's nice to meet you too."

There was an awkward pause.

"Well I'm gonna go play now.", Logan said, his statement directed toward all three of them.

Nicki once again pushed the boy's floppy blonde bangs out of his eyes, saying softly, "Alright baby have fun."

The boy had nodded, heading off to play with his siblings and the twins.

Sam had turned to Nicki, his moss-green eyes expressing his curiosity, as he'd questioned, "How old is he?"

"He's nine years old.", she'd stated proudly, a soft smile on her face as she watched him playing with the other kids, who were behind Sam.

"Nine?", he'd questioned incredulously, turning to look at the boy, a confused frown marring his face.

Both Nicki and Dean had responded simultaneously, speaking matter of factly, "He's precocious."

Sam had nodded, a soft smile on his face, "Yeah, I can see that. Um, what's with that?"

He'd pointed between the two of them.

"What's with what?", Dean had questioned, exasperated, his eyebrows furrowed.

"With the speaking in unison.", Sam had responded, with an annoyed eye roll, as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world.

"What're you rollin' your eyes for, how the hell was I supposed to know what you meant?", Dean had inquired, his voice sharp.

"It was pretty obvious _Dean_.", Sam had huffed, once again rolling his eyes.

"Actually it wasn't, _Sam_.", Dean had replied, a distinct edge to his voice.

"What're we arguing for Dean?", Sam had questioned in irritation, throwing his arms up; totally exasperated.

"I don't know, but you're the one who started it.", had been Dean's response, his tone indignant.

"Whatever Dean.", Sam had said, with a huff.

After a moment of the two men staring at each other mutinously Sam had turned to Nicki, "So, what was with the whole speaking in unison thing?"

Nicki had rolled her eyes, before smiling widely, and speaking fondly, "It's just Logan, that's what he tells people when they're shocked that he's nine because of a statement he's made. You know, that he's precocious."

Sam had chuckled a little, he spoke in amusement, "That's pretty awesome."

"Yeah, it is.", Nicki had responded softly.

Their attention had turned to the kids a few minutes after, on account of them hearing a loud smack. Both Sam and Dean had watched in astonishment as the youngest Taylor child preceded to slap Alec across the face two times. They'd both jumped when Nicki had loudly scolded her daughter, "Maxine Ashley Taylor, don't you dare hit him again!"

The little girl had stopped suddenly, her little hand just inches away from the boy's face. She moved away from Alec, huffing as she glared at her mother, speaking in annoyance, "But, momma he was buggin' me."

"I don't care if he was bothering you, that's no excuse for hitting him.", she'd responded, her tone conveying her displeasure, as she'd picked her daughter up, placing the little girl on her hip.

Then she'd turned to Alec, inquiring softly, "Are you alright honey?"

The little boy had nodded, walking over to his father and signaling that he wanted to be picked up. Dean had bent down, grabbing the boy, and swiftly pulling him against his chest. Nicki had turned to Dean, speaking sincerely, "I'm so sorry, she's been in a hitting phase, and…"

Dean cut her off, a warm smile on his face, "Don't worry about it Nicki, I know how it is."

She'd shot him an appreciative grin, "Yeah, the terrible twos, she's just lucky he didn't hit her back."

Alec had looked at her with wide eyes, speaking softly, "Daddy says to _neva eva _hit giols."

Nicki had smiled brightly, responding to Alec's hushed statement softly, "Well, that's some good advice buddy, your daddy's a pretty smart guy."

Alec had nodded, a grin of pride making its way on to his face, before leaning his head back against his father's chest. Dean had bowed his head sheepishly, covering it up a moment later with a, "Damn straight!"

He'd gotten fond grins out of both Nicki and Sam at that, and then Nicki had asked, "So, how 'bout Asha, does she hit a lot?"

"Oh yeah, she's way worse than him in that regard.", he'd answered, looking down at his daughter fondly, "She's just like her mother."

"And Alec's like you.", Nick had stated, with a smile.

"Yeah, he gets into everything, but he doesn't hit unless he's really pissed off.", Dean had responded, softly.

After a pause, "She's a lot more aggressive than he is."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Maxie is far more aggressive than Logan's ever been.", Nicki had said, looking from Max to Logan.

Dean had smirked, looking at the little girl, whose face was clearly conveying how pissed she was, and said, "Now, that's not hard to believe at all."

Not long after that Max had apologized, albeit reluctantly, and they'd headed home. Here they were now, both children falling to sleep in the adults' laps. Dean sighed, "Alright kiddos, it's time for bed."

He got up, holding Alec in the crook of his right arm, reaching down and scooping Asha up in his left, before heading back to the twin's bedroom, calling over his shoulder, "I'll be right back, 'kay Sam."

"Yeah, alright.", Sam called.

As Dean made his way into the twin's room, they pleaded tiredly, "Sing us Gamma's songs daddy."

Dean nodded, placing them in their individual cribs, grabbing their sippy cups as they settled in. He placed them on the little table a few feet away, then moved back toward the cribs, tucking both children in. He began singing, his voice taking on a lilting quality; it was loud enough that it drew Sam down the creaking hall.

He stopped in the doorway, watching his brother, a fond expression making its way onto his face. He hadn't heard Dean sing like this in a long time, with his soul, not since Sam had been fifteen; it'd been after a particularly grim hunt that had left Sam with horrible nightmares. Nightmares of Dean dying, something that had nearly happened, for Dean had lost a lot of blood. He'd watched in horror as the Chupacabra had drained what had seemed to be nearly all of Dean's blood from his body. Sam had thought, that with his brother home from the hospital the nightmares would stop, but they hadn't, and of course Dean had heard and taken it upon himself to comfort his baby brother. He'd sung a whole slew of Metallica songs, but Sam hadn't minded, it hadn't mattered what Dean had been singing, it'd just mattered that he was. Sam had been curled into his brother's side, his head resting on Dean's chest, the vibration of Dean's voice rumbling underneath his ear, soothing him, the timbre of it lulling Sam into a deep sleep. Times like that are when he remembers feeling safest.

When his brother finished they walked back to the living room, dropping onto the couch with a sigh. Sam was first to break the silence, he couldn't resist ribbing his brother at least a little, "What was with that song Dean?"

Dean glared pointedly, speaking with an edge to his voice, "It's nothing Sam, forget about it."

Sam didn't heed Dean's warning, "But Dean, it's so…"

"Sam drop it.", Dean hissed, and Sam saw the brief flash of pain in Dean eyes, before he managed to hide his reaction.

"What's wrong?", Sam questioned, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Nothing's wrong.", Dean answered, his voice soft.

"No, Dean, something is obviously wrong, is it about the song?", Sam responded, watching Dean in bewilderment.

"You wouldn't understand.", Dean stated, fidgeting with his fingers restlessly.

"Try me.", Sam, spoke softly.

When his brother finally looked up, Sam could see that desperate longing on his face; the look that Dean only got when he was thinking of their mother. He shot Dean an encouraging glance, then waited patiently. It was another ten minutes, before his brother spoke, "It doesn't matter Sammy."

'_The hell it doesn't.'_, Sam thought to himself with a sigh. He wasn't going to push Dean for an answer right now though, his brother didn't want to talk about it, and Sam didn't want to fight. "Dean?"

"Yeah?", Dean replied, he sounded weary.

"I've been looking for an engagement ring, you know for Jess, and I think I've finally found the perfect one.", Sam said, watching through his bangs for Dean's reaction.

Dean smiled at him, reaching out to pat him on the back, speaking sincerely, "That's great Sammy, I'm happy for ya'."

After a moment, "You know you have to tell her Sammy, if you're gonna marry her, it wouldn't be right to keep her in the dark."

Sam sighed, squeezing the back of his neck, and spoke, "Yeah I know, and I figured you'd say as much. I just…"

Dean cut him off, his voice reassuring, "Sammy you've got nothin' to worry about, Jess knows you're not crazy. She'll understand why you haven't told her, and, yeah she'll be pissed at first, but she'll forgive you. She loves you, she'll say yes."

"Ya' really think so Dean?", Sam questioned, his voice tight."

Dean nodded. "I know so, Sam. Now enough of this chick flick shit lets watch some TV."

Sam nodded, using the clicker to search through the guide. He stopped on Stephen King's It, pressing the okay button with barely any hesitation. Dean's head whipped around to look at Sam so fast it nearly gave him whiplash, his brows were furrowed and his eyes wide as he questioned incredulously, "You wanna watch _**It**_."

Sam responded softly, "Yeah, why not?"

"You can't be serious, this comin' from the guy who busts out cryin' whenever he sees Ronald McDonald on the television?", Dean spoke, sarcasm lacing every word, his trademark smirk plastered across his face.

The only response he got was a pillow smacking him in the face.

TBC…

AN: Sorry for the long wait on this, I hope it's worth it. Next chapter Sam tells Jess everything.

Thanks,

Alaina


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